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Scandalf thwarters anonymous

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Twice as nice [Mar. 17th, 2005|10:16 am]
Scandalf thwarters anonymous
We ate not one, but two cakes this Cake Wednesday. OK, so we didn't eat all of them, but the large part of a chocolate fudge cake and a carrot cake, both from M&S, is pretty scandalous.

And, oh, am I glad we did. *grins stupidly*
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Serious issues [Feb. 24th, 2005|03:51 pm]
Scandalf thwarters anonymous
It has come to the attention of Spazo's stomach that Cake Wednesday is, well, dying.
This situation must revert to it's former state of cake and glory, asap.
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(no subject) [Feb. 17th, 2005|07:20 pm]
Scandalf thwarters anonymous

[Current Mood |infuriatedinfuriated]
[Current Music |Some shit of Radio 1]





Feel free to vent your anger in comments. Or say how much you love Spazo. *annoyin hand motion: "thiiiis much"*
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(no subject) [Jan. 13th, 2005|11:56 am]
Scandalf thwarters anonymous

[Current Mood |shockedscandal]
[Current Music |the sultry sound of other people in the comp room]

It seems that everyone has forgotten about this community in the face of the Christmas Holidays. Therefore I shall share with you some scandalous things that have come to my attention:

+ GS and G got married
+ G committed bigamy
+ I was not there to witness this
+ My buluffed Naidel gave up fags (not scandalf but someting to rejoice in. YAY)
+ Johnny texted both me and Naidel the exact same messages a grand total of three times
+ Wotshisface ran my credit dry by calling me in Florida
+ I missed out on the campange

Simply some scandalous thoughts
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(no subject) [Jan. 1st, 2005|07:15 pm]
Scandalf thwarters anonymous

I hope this story involving Scandalf amuses you. If not, please request me not to write a sequel.

The Story of Naidel and Koonelli’s Plot Bunnies
(And what they did to Scandalf)
(A dream of Koonelli)

It was early on a bright summer’s morning and Naidel and Koonelli had decided to take a stroll in the grounds of their extensive house in the country. Although both of them were severely adverse to any sort of rigorous physical activity, (unlike their good but severely unbalanced friend, Spazo) they decided that a comfortable stroll would do them nicely.

After a pleasant walk, talking of the fantastic party they had hosted the night before, Naidel and Koonelli took a rest near the back of the house where the elegant white French doors led out down a series of steps onto the pristine lawn, dotted with bushes, cut into the shapes of famous sculptures and bonsai trees beneath them.

Naidel stood brooding, one hand on the neckline of her jacket, thumb brushing against the red carnation in her pocket. She was immaculately dressed in a black, pinstriped suit and frilly white shirt and her black boots pointed and wrinkled at the ankles. On her head was a pinstriped top hat with a red ribbon and through the rim poked a pair of white rabbit’s ears.

Naidel was thinking about her world of which she was supreme ruler. She was thinking about what she could do to make it a more hospitable and generally fabulous place. More specifically, she was wondering how the public at large would receive candyfloss machines on every corner.

Koonelli was worn out after their pleasant stroll. Consequently she was reclined in a stripy deckchair next to her wife, twirling a lacy parasol idly and marvelling at how buff Naidel was looking in her handsome suit and top hat. Koonelli herself was dressed in a matching dress, the pinstripes running from the top of her corset to the white lacy hem of her dress. On her head was also a pinstriped hat, decorated with ornate flowers made of white tissue paper and a long string of pearls ran its way down from the top of her neck to the ends of her shoulders.

Sighing happily, Koonelli gazed at the large pen that was on the lawn. In this pen were about twenty or so small white bunnies, hopping around gently in their adorable bunny manner. Smiling, Naidel cleared her head of such responsible thoughts of the fate of the world and shifted her shinyshiny black cane so she could turn to look at the spinning parasol. The cane had a skull adorning the top and was very sharp so that it stabbed the lawn, leaving pock holes in the grass.

Just then, completely unexpectedly, Scandalf entered. He crashed through the French doors, splintering wood and glass and rolled down the steps onto the lawn (completely undignified-ly for reader purposes). Groaning in his middle-to-old age-ness, Scandalf picked himself up and upon seeing Naidel and Koonelli’s shocked gazes, he struck and villainous, finger contorted pose. He was wearing an RSPCA uniform.

Angered, Naidel grasped Koonelli’s shoulders while the latter put a hand to her heart. Appropriately scandalised, Naidel and Koonelli cried in tragic unison:

“Gasp! Scandalf is ‘ere!”

“NYARHARHARHARHAR!” Scandalf cackled. “I have come to take away your plot bunnies!”

Now Naidel and Koonelli understood how he could have gotten through their top-notch, A-class, world leader-strength security. Those state of the art CCTV cameras and force-of-fifty bodyguards (trained in Siberia) were suckers for villains in disguise.

“Damn and blast those villains in disguise!” Naidel cursed, her finger tightening on her shinyshiny cane.

“Oh, Naidel!” cried Koonelli, “Our poor, sweet, innocent plot bunnies! In the hands of that detestable villain in disguise with no dress sense! Oh, the horror!”

“Fear not, sweet wife of mine with marvellous dress sense!” Naidel declared bravely, for even in the face of a villain in disguise, she was still dashing enough to communicate sweet nothings to her beloved.

Then, releasing Koonelli and squaring her pointed boots firmly, Naidel took the top of her cane and pulled out a lethal-looking fencing foil, making an impressing ‘shing!’ noise, much like a pirate’s sabre.

At this development, Scandalf looked a little worried and hastily reached into his boot, pulling out his own porta-foil™ (It shrinks to a fifth of the size, but we can’t guarantee it won’t snap in a life or death situation!)

Then, while Koonelli looked on in dismay, the two leapt into a vicious battle and although Scandalf fought with the desperation of a man with a monobrow, he was clearly not as talented in the art of the sword as the supreme ruler of the known universe, and the impressive ‘shing!’ noise, was obviously weighing on the villain’s mind.

After a time of lethal combat, Naidel twirled her foil, curling the porta-foil™ out of Scandalf’s hands and leaving him weapon less and backed up against the bunny pen.

“See here, you repulsive villain in disguise!” Naidel laughed, “That will teach you to crash through my French doors, make me get out my sword and attempt to deprive my wife, empress of the known universe of inspiration in her beloved plot bunnies!”

Koonelli wiped her eyes with a lacy handkerchief and applauded. Naidel blew her a kiss and wondered whether to run Scandalf through, although later she decided against it because it was no sight fit for a lady.

Then, as if in revenge for what the despicable Scandalf had threatened to do, a single bunny from the pen leapt up and affixed its razor sharp, lethal teeth into Scandalf’s arm. Immediately, the villain in disguise began to emit crazed screams of pain and perhaps despair for the disguise he had worked so hard on.

After a time of running erratically back and forth, waving his afflicted arm around, Scandalf collapsed on the lawn, out cold from the pain and the loss of blood. The tiny plot bunny hopped down from the villain’s body and began to scratch behind its ear with its back leg, nose twitching.

Naidel and Koonelli rejoiced as blood soaked into the grass. It was good riddance to bad rubbish as Koonelli bent down to pick up the heroic plot bunny; its little mouth still soaked in red and cuddled it under her chin. The gardener was sent for to dispose of Scandalf back into the nearest mental hospital and Naidel proposed the notion of having another party just as Johnny Depp came to hose down the lawn.
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(no subject) [Dec. 1st, 2004|01:39 pm]
Scandalf thwarters anonymous
And we have CAKE!
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(no subject) [Nov. 30th, 2004|01:42 pm]
Scandalf thwarters anonymous
I had a thought: what if Scandalf, like the Imposter, had more than one identity?
I only wonder about this because if he does, I reckon I know one of the identities: WOLFMAN.

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Cake Wednesday [Nov. 24th, 2004|01:44 pm]
Scandalf thwarters anonymous
Forsooth, for 'tis Cake Wednesday. As wholesome and joyful as Scandalf is sickly and doomish, this festival continues to light up my life.
This of all Cake Wednesdays is particularly special, for we have found distant friends who, (dare I say it) scandalously also created a Cake Wednesday of their own. The resistance grows!
Brownies fill Cake duty this Wednesday, and I hear they're most outstanding.
Vive le randomance!
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we await the schpinsters coming... [Nov. 22nd, 2004|07:22 pm]
Scandalf thwarters anonymous

Whence commest thou, oh band of merry travellers..."From the farest regions of this earth!" I Hear you cry. I am glad. Welcome! Here upon this slightly soiled ground, and here only, can we avoid The Ear Of Scandalf. His rumour mills are even now spreading gossip of our coming, however like all good busy-bodies he shall discount it as falsehood to begin, so we may still have time.

Bob, the fish in my watch, sends greetings to you all, and apologises for his absence, but he has dicovered some particularly intriguing bubbles, and is now somewhat distracted. So in his absence I invite you all to partake of our mead *hands over mead* and to share with us news of scandalf's activities, or any other news which you consider relevant and/or amusing (The doomish Quest talk is unneccessary, but it amuses me so i shall venture to pursue all activities here with the lights slightly dimmed and an artificial smell of horse.)

So young traveller, hang up your cloak and kick of your boots, we have much to discuss and many new friends to meet, most of whom don't exist, but I've never let that stop me. I am sorry, i have been thoughtless... Lo, my friends, there's a Hog roasting and broth boiling, sup first...we can talk of these things later. Though, you must forgive me, my mind is caught up in matters of buisness, and The Ear causes me much worry...I may not at present be the best of hosts.
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